America Moves On After Contestant Booted
EVERYWHERE, USA -- A contestant on that reality show having something to do with music and singing and whatnot claimed that America would be upset that the judges (a job which the contestant described them "suck[ing] at") showed him the door.
We at The Handwasher Times weren't content to let that statement stand. After an exhausting (if not exhaustive) survey of several key members of the viewing public (including the author of this article and his alter-ego), we've found that America is pretty much "Meh" on the whole thing. Asked about the contestant (who will not be named in this article, given the obvious fact that he already has a name, and it's Dennis), America said, "Huh?"
We at THT find that conclusive. Nobody really misses the guy. Shocker.
Source: O.Handwasher